You know those days? The ones where once you leave the comforts of your bed you instantly know you need to head back. Well, this is one of those days… “Momma said there would be days like this”.
I have elected to be healthier. After all, I am not getting any younger just like they aren’t making any more land. So, what health I have is valuable. With that being said, I ate an all vegetable dinner and made myself a “green smoothie”. Well, the attempt at the smoothie did not go off without a hitch… the blender wasn’t used to such a healthy concoction. The blender was like… “Wait, a cotton pickin’ minute, this is not ice cream and chocolate syrup… and started to smoke. I pressed on. I added in my frozen bananas, my frozen strawberries, my frozen spinach, my cut up apple, my cup of chopped cucumber, my 1 cup of water… and then the smoke began to get to be too much… and the blender no longer blended. I went to Plan B… and mixed it in the bullet blender and poured it up. And to be honest it was tasty.
Well, with all the above morning activity, that didn’t leave much room for hair and make-up. I attempted to straighten it a bit, but the flat iron was very hot and some of the hair was kinky and not quite dry and I couldn’t tell if my hair was burning or if the smell of the burnt blender motor had followed me to the bathroom. So, I am not looking any better than the green smoothie at work, today. But fortunately for me, I have succeeded in working in an office without a mirror.
Rush to my truck, and pull out of the drive way… and down the road to work. I missed the school zone lighting and was able to drive normal speed to my daily getaway. Then, I encountered a trailer with a large steel pipe swing set loaded up driving about 45 miles per hour. As I was slurping on my smoothie , listening to uplifting and encouraging music to get my day moving in a better direction… it happened. A very loud ding. We all know the sound… the one where you hold your breath for a second and look about frantically searching for where it hit. And it hit good and solid and made a hole in my windshield.
I forced myself to finish the only healthy thing in my morning so far and holding back the tears as I arrive at work. Turn the key in the knob force my shaking knees to walk to my desk, where I plummet my body weight into my favorite chair, which decided to give way and tumble me to the floor. For fear of being seen at this point crawling on my hands and knees to get up I move in lightning speed to gather my wits and sit up in the chair as if I was riding a bull at the rodeo. I think I might have even thrown my arm in the air a little “Lane Frost” move I learned over the years.
I fire up my computer, seeking a daily devotional to read and find some comfort, before I tear the wrapper off every single Tootsie Roll in the candy dish and devour them with my green smoothie. At this time I discover yet another challenge… who would have guessed it? The internet is not responding. I work in the boondocks and this is my only lifeline. I almost scream, but instead, I say… the green monster drink is destroying my morning routine. I need coffee.
I make coffee, spilling most of the grounds I am trying to add to the basket from shaking so much, and once the aroma fills the office air, I pour a steaming cup and open the fridge door to find I am out of creamer.
I am sitting here eating Tootsie Roll after Tootsie Roll, laughing at myself. What was I thinking starting my day off on such a healthy note? Tomorrow I will begin it like all my other days, with a bowl of Captain Crunch and a huge mug of coffee the size of my head, and I will know this is a much healthier option… because if I have any more days like this one… I might become violent. And that cannot be good for my health.
About The Author: Barbie Driskell (Aunt B) was raised in the shade of pine trees of East Texas. “I am very proud of my roots, just like a pine tree, may not be deep but they sure take over when left to their own devices. I smile frequently, laugh genuinely and live simply.”