Overcoming Childhood as a Wallflower

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I was a wallflower child when I was younger. I was never in a specific group and was either with my best friend Sydnie, or drawing ponies and unicorns in a corner. Sydnie was a very sporty person and played a numerous amount of activities, while I never did. I constantly tried to get into sports, but I either embarrassed myself in the try outs or was scared to even step foot in the gyms because of my weight. But Sydnie always had my back and she helped me practice for each game I wanted to try. She will forever be my best friend.

I got into riding horses, which helped a lot with socialization. My mother found a sweet man who gave us a filly for free to show in 4H, so we gladly took her in, and my head exploded! She was a stubborn horse, but she had my entire heart. When meeting different horse trainers, my confidence slowly began to show. When we finally got to show my horse, we won second place overall and I was the happiest I had ever been.

When the pandemic erupted, I had no clue how life would be next. I was pulled out of public school, we were at home constantly, and we were scared to go out. This time in my life was rough like many others. I was depressed and my anxiety started to take a major toll on my life. I was horrified that I would never have a future. I was scared I was going to die just by going to the grocery store. Life was awful, and my shell grew back around me.

Then Sydnie and I were sent to a homeschool co-op where we can go to school and socialize with others. This improved my life immensely. I met other kids like me who are “weird” and like artsy things. I met my group of friends that impacted my life and my relationship with Christ and I am forever grateful for them. I got an internship that turned into the wonderful job that I have now. My anxiety and depression is no longer controlling my life, and I am not afraid to meet other people anymore. My shell has been broken completely.

me and sydnie
my friends at lead
me and sydnie
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