October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and this is the third installment of our features on bullying in East Texas.

My story.

I was a freshman in a local high school before I had the gall to stand up to bullies. Two boys were making fun of a girl we knew who was overweight. The things they said about her had me completely taken aback, and I was a very quiet kid at the time. I always kept my nose in a book and avoided confrontation at school, but what these boys said was not going to fly.

I’ll back up a bit to explain myself.

I grew up homeschooled before fourth grade. Then I attended a private Christian school until high school. Wherever I went, the classes were small and the children mostly knew each other. Nothing could be very private, and children often take advantage of that.

In middle and high school, insecurities take a large toll on the minds of those with raging hormones and incomplete emotional control. My experience with jealousy, petty rivalries, pointed remarks, and more had given me a tough skin, but it was very hard to address bullying amongst friends when it happens by means of the cold shoulder, borderline rude humor, leaving others out, and rumors.

So, I was often frustrated with the way people were treated in the little classes. My way of dealing with this in middle school was to ignore the prejudices placed on people by my other classes. I was not always successful in standing up to my classmates in this way. Peer pressure is a strong tool.

I was a very strong-willed and occasionally extroverted in school, but it took me a while to get acquainted with the people and surroundings when I moved schools. I would hide my head in studying and personal reading, and I would avoid too much socializing unless I had something particular I wanted said.

This brings me back to the original story.

Two boys were speaking in a biology class one day when the workload was less than taxing. They made cruel remarks about a girl who was overweight with absolutely no purpose to them than to make a joke at the expense of another. Luckily, she was not present at the time, but it was nonetheless harmful. Every person within earshot would know those guys were free to speak about a person in this way.

As I listened I could literally feel the heat boiling on my ears, turning them red, but I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to have to stand up to them. These boys were intelligent and arrogant, and they always had to be right.

So, I spoke up. I spoke up, and I asked them why they would talk about someone this way. I asked them why they cared about her weight and why they needed to say anything about it. They did not have an answer for me, and, frankly, I think they were surprised to hear me speak.

In that situation, they stopped speaking, but in other situations, the comments don’t stop. Even those with the heart and courage to speak up can come into ridicule. Sometimes the abuse goes beyond verbal. Sometimes the abuse is violent.

Megan’s Story

Megan Whitworth is the creative director for TFCL. Megan has been at the brunt of jokes and teasing that wasn’t really funny, and she shared her experience with bullies that really affected her.

In the sixth grade, Megan’s favorite thing was not sports. She wasn’t very good at them, but she had to play for her physical education class. She was new at her middle school that year.

“I went home crying every day, feeling very alone,” Megan said. “One day towards the end of the school year, I was so broken down that once in P.E. when we were playing kickball, I missed the ball twice. I just started crying and venting my feelings. It was horrible.”

Megan didn’t quit, though. She kept going and found true friends by her seventh grade. She decided to be better than the bullies.

“I became the editor of the school newspaper in seventh grade,” Megan shared, “and became more confident in myself and found that I love to write.”

Now, Megan has been the editor of Charm magazine based in Lufkin and has joined the TFCL staff as creative director. We couldn’t be more pleased!

Misty’s story.

Misty Boggs is the editor of TFCL, and she has had plenty of firsthand experience with bullying. Around the time of her second year in elementary school in Pasadena, Texas, when she was just seven years old, Misty had many opportunities to deal with bullies.

One moment when Misty dealt with bullying was in her second grade class. She and the class were lined up in the doorway about to proceed to lunch. They were told to keep quiet by the teacher, but of course, many were not listening.

A boy in her class decided he wanted to make fun of a girl whose last name was Piazza, by calling her “Piazza Pizza Face.” Misty had felt her anger rising extremely quickly, and she told this boy to stop, that it wasn’t funny. So, he proceeded to move on to another target, a boy with polio on crutches.

By this time, Misty had had it. With her fists clenched, she told the boy to stop or, “We can solve this on the playground.”

A while later, Misty dealt with another case of bullying closer to home and closer to the heart. There was a family of five boys who lived on her block that she and her brother would always play with.

One day, Misty, her brother, and one of the middle boys were playing together. The middle child’s older brother and his friend came outside across the road, and Misty’s brother and the middle child decided to follow the big boys around.

Well, as Misty was watching, the bigger boys started shoving the smaller boys around. She said to herself, “That’s too far, thank you very much,” and proceeded to fling the gate open and march up to the bigger boys.

Keep in mind, these boys were two years older and a head taller than Misty at the time.

“Stop. Now. You have until the count of three,” she tells the boy.

The guy replies, “Well what are you gonna do about it @$%?” He called her a few choice words.

“That’s one,” she said.

Across the street, Misty’s parents are watching and deciding whether or not to intervene. Her father recommended they see how Misty handled the situation.

The boy started to curse some more at Misty, and she said, “That’s two.”

He continued talking again, and Misty didn’t waste her breath on saying three. No, she turned as if to walk away and threw a right hook into the boy’s face. Misty gave him a bloody nose and knocked him to the ground.

Her face as she told me this was determined, steely, and offended.

“I turned like I was gonna walk off, and right hook,” she said.

The boys got up and left, and Misty did not hear from them for a long time.

“I didn’t tolerate [bullying] with other people,” Misty said. “It just came natural to speak up.”

Misty had a strong will to stand up to those who hurt others, but not all kids have that at first. They need to be taught to stand up for what is right.

Her advice to those who want to learn to fight bullying is to find the courage to just do it, without regret.

“Do it. Even if you think you’re going to be the one in trouble, do it. It’s worth the cost. Speak over the tightness in your throat, the butterflies in your stomach. I haven’t regretted any of those times.”

Misty said her parents set the example for her. They allowed her to end what someone else had started. They didn’t advocate violence at any point, but they told her and showed her if you have the means to end the situation by speaking up, walking away, getting help, it needs to be done.

This is why students need our help.

Students need parents who are consistently in their life, there to give them an example of rightful living. They need teachers to pay attention to the conversation in classes and what goes on behind the school after the bell. They need administrators who will respond to bullying and do everything within their power to end the power of fear and torment the bullies hold over their peers. They need sound laws set in place giving serious consequences to bullying.

In the feature I did yesterday about bullying and East Texas, I outlined that Texas law requires every school to have a bullying policy, and I gave an example of how Huntington Middle School deals with bullying. They have a monthly day during which they encourage students to wear their #endbullying shirts.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Now is a wonderful time to speak to your peers, your children, you parents, your administrators, and your lawmakers about getting serious about preventing bullying in school.

What can you do? You can:

• Be an example.
  If you are a parent, show your children the attributes a person should posses. Show them love and compliment them. Help to put away their insecurities and avoid too much boredom. Talk to your children about the value of life and the ways they can be a good friend.
  If you are a student, show your friends how to treat one another. Don’t listen to gossip. Hang out with anyone, regardless of what people say about them. Love even those with annoying issues.
  If you are an educator, be familiar with the warning signs of bullying and your school’s bullying policy. Perhaps incorporate mandatory group projects with assigned partners. Don’t stand for namecalling and cold shoulders.
• Be aware.
  Bullying is all around us. Bullies are good kids, bad kids, mediocre kids. Bullies can be straight A students or failing students. Bullies can be jocks or nerds. Bullies can even be adults. Know what to look for and look for it.
• Share your experience.
  Have you already been a victim or stood up to a bully? Do you know someone who has? Share your experience with friends, family, social media, and others. Use this month as an excuse if you like. Share my story and accompany it with yours and a plea to end the tyranny of the unnoticed bullies.

Most of all, help me and Texas Forest Country Living shed light on the invisible and visible pain of our students and friends. Bullying goes beyond the superficial; it is a matter of the heart. We will strike it at its core and end it.

For more information on bullying and what East Texans are doing to stop it, check out this article I did and check out stopbullying.gov.

Check out the first and secon installments of this story: Part One: The Educator’s Fight Against Bullying and Part Two: The Church’s Fight Against Bullying.