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[tab title=”Paranoid Identifier”][dropcap]D[/dropcap]ear Grace, My identity has been stolen three times in the past, and after this last time I am just so tired of it! How can I protect my identity from thieves?[/tab]
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Dear Paranoid,

Identity theft is incredibly personal and wrong. It is almost worse than someone breaking into your house and stealing your possessions. Many people feel under attack or exposed in today’s highly electronic world, but it doesn’t have to be like that. There are ways of safeguarding your identity.

An article on Bankrate advises to do the following to reduce risk of identity theft, and I have added some useful tips I have learned and researched:

• Don’t over-share on social networking websites
  Even if you have labelled all of your posts as “private,” hackers can relatively easily access your posts. It would be a good idea to leave out your birthday from bios and be sure never to post a picture of your credit card or give anyone your social security number over social media or email. Also, be wary of accepting friend requests from strangers or acquaintances. If someone has no friends or only a few friends on social media, they are most likely a fake account.
• Maintain anti-virus and anti-malware software
  It truly is important to keep up anti-virus and anti-malware software. This will help eliminate threats you weren’t even aware of. It also helps to choose one like ___ that allows you to know when a website’s certificate is kept up to date which means it is most likely a safe site to visit.
• Handle financial documents with care
  Keep them in a hidden file on your computer with a password or in a safe in your home. You never know who will be looking at your information. 
• Create strong passwords
  It is wise to have different passwords for important sites. In this society, it is almost impossible to keep track of all different passwords, but for the most important ones, try to keep them fundamentally different. And do not use birthdays or social security numbers for passwords!
• Be careful with unsecured Wi-Fi
  This is a tough one, but try not to access bank information or sensitive information on foreign Wi-Fi networks. If you use an online banking app, try to only access it on your data or your secure Wi-Fi at home.
• Don’t be reeled in by phishing scams
  If any site that is not a job application, government website, or one you trust absolutely asks for personal information like a social security number, do not give it to them. This is very important. Stay up to date on the latest sources of fraud, both national and local. Today, a telephone scam saying the IRS is suing you has affected many in the area. If you hear of some emergency situation that requires money from you, verify it from a very trustworthy source before ever taking out your credit card.
• Monitor credit and bank accounts closely
  Check where your card has been charged every couple of days. If you know you never bought $80 of food at Wingstop and a $4,000 HD television from Best Buy, contact your bank or credit union immediately.

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[tab title=”Melancholy in the Ministry”][dropcap]I[/dropcap] am in several groups at my local church volunteering and studying the Bible. Most of the groups involve many women, and unfortunately, they really like to talk about each other and betray each other’s trust. I like the women in my groups, but they can be so vicious to each other! How can I help handle these situations?[/tab]
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Dear Melancholy,

Gossip is a bitter and ugly friend that likes to rear its ugly head in places where humans have to interact together for long periods of time. Friends with insecurities and chips on their shoulders often feel like they have to constantly one-up each other to feel better about life.

So, in order to deal with gossip among friends is to figure out the reason they gossip. Gossip typically stems from some kind of insecurity. If someone is feeling less than someone else, they will be perpetually stuck in a cycle of ambitious betrayal. They think people will betray them, and they will betray those people to get what they think they need: acceptance and validation.

If you are close to the gossipers, grab them both and make them talk with you. Explain how they have misunderstood each other or how their behavior is affecting the group you are in. Ask them to come out and tell each other their grievances. Why are they angry or hurt or betraying one another?

If you are not so close to them, try impacting the situation from your position. Try building people up and giving them the validation you need. Speak with your Bible study leader and ask him or her to do a lesson on gossip.

Most importantly, you cannot join in on the gossip. Do not even listen to it when people around you start talking. You do not have to actively condemn it, but leave the room if the gossip is being said. Ask your friend to change the subject. Make it clear by your actions that you do not want to talk badly about your friends, or anyone, without them being there to defend themselves.

Even if what the gossipers are saying is true, it is still not right to speak badly of someone behind their back. Rise above the peer pressure and demand more from your peers. You are all adults that have the capability of getting along. This especially needs to be true in a place of worship meant to be safe for those looking for fellowship and teaching.

You can do this. Stay strong and keep going even if your friends are being hard on one another.